For Good
by Buddie Beware
Summary: The class of 2006 graduates. This will be oneshot song fics for each of the graduating characters, as well as Jimmy, Spinner, Craig, Jay, and Ashley who should have graduated. Craig's chapter up [08.11.06]
1. My Wish

**SUMMARY**: The class of 2006 graduates. This will be one-shot song fics for each of the graduating characters, as well as Jimmy, Spinner, Craig, Jay, and Ashley who should have graduated.

* * *

**_MY WISH-Paige_**

This is it. Graduation day. I can't believe how quickly these years have come and gone. It seems like just yesterday I was starting the Spirit Squad with Haze.

_I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow  
And each road leads you where you want to go  
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose  
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you_

I got into Banting. My dream school, the Harvard of the North. A year ago I couldn't wait to graduate and get out of this place. Now that I finally was, everything just didn't seem right. These are the kinds that have been there for me since grade 8, and now I'm going off to university without them. How am I gonna survive without them by my side to keep me strong?

_And if one door opens to another door closed  
I hope you keep on walkin' 'til you find the window  
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile  
But more than anything, more than anything_

I know that I'll survive, I'll manage. And they're gonna do just fine. They're all extremely talented and total sweethearts and I know that they'll find people in university who adore them just as much as I do.

_My wish for you  
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to  
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small  
You never need to carry more than you can hold_

Looking back over these five years, I realize that I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for these kids. The rape in grade 9 really changed my life. Spinner was my rock, my everything and it broke my heart to dump him. And while I know that I've grown as a person, even without Spinner, I grew to be the Paige Michelchuk that everybody knows today because of him.

_And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to  
I hope you know somebody loves you  
And wants the same things too  
Yeah, this is my wish_

I'll always love Spinner. I lost my virginity to him. And as much as I would love to get back together with him, he's gonna be a senior here next year and I'll be in university, it just wouldn't work. But he knows I'll always love him.

All of these kids, I love each and every one of them to pieces. And they will always remain in my heart. I never thought it would hurt to leave Degrassi. I made so many mistakes here, and so did the rest of us. But I don't regret it, only Dean. I forgave everyone that has helped me, and hurt me here. And when I've had the chance, I've helped them too.

_I hope you never look back but you never forget  
All the ones who love you  
And the place you left  
I hope you always forgive and you never regret  
And you help somebody every chance you get  
Oh, you find God's grace in every mistake  
And always give more than you take  
But more than anything, yeah more than anything_

"And now, Degrassi Community School's class of 2006." Ms. H says as we all throw our caps in the air.

Tears are shed, and hugs are given, pictures are taken and smiles are shown as we share our memories. This is it. This is goodbye to all of the kids that helped me through everything.

It's funny. We go to school for thirteen years and the one thing they never teach us is how to say goodbye.

_This is my wish  
I hope you know somebody loves you  
May all your dreams stay big_


	2. Photograph

_**PHOTOGRAPH- Jay**_

_Look at this photograph_

_Every time I do it makes me laugh_

After last night with Alex, I'm more heartbroken then ever. All I want to do is rewind time.

_How did our eyes get so red?_

_And what the hell is on Joey's head?_

The drunken, wasted nights ruined it all.

_This is where I grew up_

_I think the present owner fixed it up_

I grab a beer out of the cooler and look around at all the beer cans, bottles, bracelets, pipes all over the place. And the van. Which is where everything really went wrong. And the worst part is it's my fault. I can't lame anyone but me for it.

_I never knew we ever went without_

_The second floor is hard for sneakin' out_

I finish my beer and was about to throw it on the ground along with the rest of cans but I stop and throw it in the recycle bin. _"Clean the ravine!"_ I laughed at the thought of greenpeace being innocent. Fooling around with her is part of what led me to where I am today. I threw out my can and headed over to DCS.

_This is where I went to school_

_Most of the time had better things to do_

I stood in the back of the gym. In the shadows. No one wanted me to be there. Fact of the matter is, they probably think that I didn't wanna be there. And in a way they were right, but only because I wanted to be crossing the stage with them, not watching.

_Criminal record says I broke in twice_

_I must've done it half a dozen times_

Spinner and I broke in here once. I was in the yearbook twice. I remember how pissed I was. But looking back at that stolen yearbook, the second picture isn't that bad. It was of me and Alex. It's one of the only pictures I have of us.

_I wonder if it's too late_

_Should I go back and try to graduate_

_Life's better now than it was back then_

_If I was them, I wouldn't let me in_

Sometimes I think if I should go back and restart grade11. I'd graduate in two years, class o 08..not too bad. But Ms. H probably wouldn't let me back. Even though she let Spin back in.

_Every memory of looking out the back door_

_I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor_

_It's hard to say_

_It's time to say it_

_Goodbye, Goodbye_

Marco's starting his valedictorian speech. And it's actually making me feel like I might cry.

_Every memory of walking out the front door_

_I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for_

I remember how many times I'd walk out the front doors of DCS with Sean. That kid left too. He's not going to Degrassi and he's getting an education.

_It's hard to say _

_It's time to say it_

_Goodbye, Goodbye_

_Remember the old arcade_

_Blew every dollar that we ever made_

_The cops hated us hangin' out_

_They say somebody went and burned it down_

Sean and I would get in so much trouble together. And we'd have so much fun doing it.

_We used to listen to the radio_

_And sing along with every song we'd know_

_We said someday we'd find out how it feels_

_To sing to more than just the steering wheel_

Driving around in my orange civic with my 16 speakers, blasting the radio. It was some of the best memories I had of my 2½ years in high school.

_Kim's the first girl I kissed_

_I was so nervous that I nearly missed_

_She's had a couple of kids since then_

_I haven't seen her since God knows when_

Marco's finished with his speech and Ms. H is giving out the diplomas. As Alex's name is called I clap and say to myself "Yeah Lexi." I wave to her and exit the gym.

I stood in the back of the gym. In the shadows. No one wanted me to be there. Fact of the matter is, they probably think that I didn't wanna be there. And in a way they were right, but only because I wanted to be crossing the stage with them, not watching.

_I miss that town_

_I miss their faces_

_You can't erase_

_You can't replace it_

_I miss it now_

_I can't believe it_

_So hard to stay_

_Too hard to leave it_

_If I could relive those days_

_I know the one thing that would never change_

I pulled out of the parking lot and turned off of Degrassi St. and never looked back. And as hard as it is to leave, at the same time it feels good. We can all get on with out lives.

_Look at this photograph_

_Every time I do it makes me laugh_

_Every time I do it makes me_


	3. Good Riddance

_**GOOD RIDDANCE (TIME OF YOUR LIFE)-Marco**_

I stood up at the podium with my paper. It had my speech for valedictorian on it. These were the lastt few moments of being a high school student, and to be totally honest, it scared me.

_Another turning point a fork stuck in the road_

_Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go_

_So make the best of this test and don't ask why_

_It's not a question but a lesson learned in time_

I had studied my butt off, and I graduated the top of my class. I'm going to be a freshman at McGill university next year. It's all so surreal. Leaving behind everything, everyone that I care about. It's a scary thought.

_It's something unpredictable_

_But in the end is right_

_I hope you had the time of your life_

Degrassi has been an emotional rollercoaster for me, but I wouldn't trade those moments for anything in the world. I'd probally still be "straight", hiding behind a mask, being someone I'm not. Degrassi brought out the real me. I met my best friends here, got my first boyfriend, fell in love, and got my heart broken here. And while there'll be other boys for me in university, and more heart breaks, I don't know how I'm going to make it through without these kids.

_So take the photographs and still frames in your mind_

_Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time_

_Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial_

_For what it's worth it was worth all the while_

I'm not one for change. I hate it. And I'm totally scared shitless about the future. Looking back over these yearbooks honestly brings tears to my eyes. It has all my best memories. The grade 11 yearbook has to be the best though, the two pages of all of us, FRIENDS FOREVER. It all fell apart that year, but those pages show us at happier times.

_It's something unpredictable_

_But in the end is right_

_I hope you had the time of your life_

So now I stand up here, in front of my friends and family, giving my final speech as a student at Degrassi Community School. My throat is clenching, and I swear that I can feel my heart breaking. I really don't wanna leave this place.

_It's something unpredictable_

_But in the end is right_

_I hope you had the time of your life_

I look at my friends sitting next to me, Jimmy, Ashley, and Spinner in the audience, Craig standing in the back, and a smile spreads across my face as my speech comes to an end. I wish that they could be up there with me, but they'll have their time next year and you and bet that I'll be sitting in the audience watching them cross this stage.

_It's something unpredictable_

_But in the end is right_

_I hope you had the time of your life_

"And now as we head off in our separate directions. Let us remember our ties to Degrassi and to each other. Congratulations class of 2006.We did it guys!


	4. Goodbye

_**GOODBYE-Hazel**_

_No no no no, no no no no, no no no no,_

This is it. It's really over.

_Listen little child, there will come a day  
When you will be able, able to say  
Never mind the pain, or the aggravation  
You know there's a better way, for you and me to be_

Marco just finished his speech and Ms. H is now giving out diplomas.

_Look for a rainbow in every storm  
Fly like an angel, heaven sent to me_

"Hazel Aden" She calls my name and Paige squeezes my hand. As I walk across stage to receive my diploma, my eyes well up with tears.

_Goodbye my friend (I know you're gone, you said you're gone,  
but I can still feel you here)  
It's not the end (gotta keep it strong before the pain  
turns into fear)_

Grade 12 hasn't been my best. I break up with Jimmy because of Ellie Nash, my best friend becomes a lesbian, or bi or whatever, and now just as I'm getting used to all this change, it's graduation time.

_So glad we made it, time will never change it - no no no  
No no no no_

As shitty as some of my times have been here, there have been twice as many happy ones.

_Just a little girl, big imagination  
Never letting no-one take it away  
Went into the world, what a revelation  
She found there's a better way for you and me to be_

Grade 8. I was Paige's best friend, her sidekick, co-captain of the Spirit Squad. All so young and innocent. I had a dream of finding my high school sweetheart, living happily ever after. By grade 10 I was so sure I'd be the maid of honor at Paige and Spinner's wedding, and she'd be mine at me and Jimmy's. It all changed by grade 11. Paige and Spinner broke up, Jimmy was shot, and Craig and Ashley got back together, Craig as diagionised bi-polar, Paige started dating Matt a.k.a Mr. O a.k.a our MI student teacher/yoga instructor.

_Look for a rainbow in every storm  
Find out for certain, love's gonna be there for you  
You'll always be someone's baby_

Even though all my childish dreams completely and utterly fell apart by grade 12, it helped me grow into a better person.

_Goodbye my friend (I know you're gone, you said you're gone,  
but I can still feel you here)  
It's not the end (gotta keep it strong before the pain  
turns into fear)_

Even with all the bullshit, lies, drama and tears we went though these past five years, I'm going to miss everyone that I've met at Degrassi.

_So glad we made it, time will never change it  
No no no no  
You know it's time to say goodbye_

And now as everyone else has relieved their diplomas, I think the realization of it all is starting to sink in for everyone.

_No no no no_

It's all really ending. Ms. H is giving her final speech to us.

_The times when we would play about  
The way we used to scream and shout  
We never dreamt you'd go your own sweet way_

I can't believe how fast all the years have gone. It seems like just yesterday we were cheering Jimmy, Spinner and Sean on at basketball games, or cheering for Spinner and Jimmy at soccer games. Now it's all over.

_Look for a rainbow in every storm  
Find out for certain love's gonna be there for you  
You'll always be someone's baby_

The uniforms are all hung up.

_Goodbye my friend (I know your gone, you said you're gone,  
but I can still feel you here)  
It's not the end (you gotta keep it strong before the  
pain turns into fear)_

"And now I proudly present to you, Degrassi Community School's graduating class of 2006." Ms. H says.

_So glad we made it time will never never change it_

Everyone starts clapping, caps are thrown in the air, hugs are shared and tears are shed.

_No no no no  
you know it's time to say goodbye  
No no no no  
and don't forget you can rely_

This is it. This is the beginning of the rest of our lives.

_No no no no  
you know it's time to say goodbye  
No no no no  
and don't forget on me you can rely_

The photographs will fade.

_No no no no  
I will help, help you on your way_

The yearbook pages will tear.

_No no no no  
I will be with you every day  
no no no no_

But the memories, and friendships will last forever.


	5. Friends Forever

**_FRIENDS FOREVER-Ellie_**

After Sean left, I couldn't wait to get out of Degrassi. Now that it's really ending, I don't want it to.

_And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives  
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25 _

My original plan was to follow Craig around like Jimmy said at the DOT that one day. But now I'm going to NYU, majoring in journalism. Just like everyone always thought would happen. Just like they all thought I wanted.

_I keep thinking times will never change  
Keep on thinking things will always be the same  
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back  
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track _

Craig left to Vancouver and I didn't follow him, obviously. So now there's no more band practices. No more Jimmy, Craig, Marco, and Ellie time. No more Craig and Ellie time before band practice when I'd "have to get there early because of mom's AA meetings."

_And if you got something that you need to say  
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day  
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down _

My senior year wasn't anything special, or worth remembering. I fell in love, or developed a major crush on my best friends ex, only to be rejected for his ex, who just so happens to be the school slut. I had a chance to tell him how I felt but I didn't and now there's nothing I can do about it. And what makes it worse is that he's happy with her, even though he's still in Vancouver they're still together. But he's my best friend. And if he's happy then I'm happy. So here I am, the last few moments of high school, obsessing over a guy who will never like be back. I could've had Jimmy but I had to reject him because of Craig.

_These memories are playing like a film without sound  
And I keep thinking of the night in June  
I didn't know much of love, but it came too soon  
And there was me and you, and then it got real blue  
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and  
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared  
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair  
And this is how it feels _

So I'm trying to forget him, after all with university next year I'll have to. I learned about love with Sean, and he broke my heart. And now everything I've been trying to forget, is coming back stronger than ever because of graduation.

_As we go on, we remember  
All the times we had together  
And as our lives change,  
Come whatever  
We will still be, friends forever _

These kids have been so supportive of me through everything, most importantly my cutting.

_So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money  
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?  
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?  
Still be trying to break every single rule _

By the reunion, I wonder if all our stupid inside jokes will still make us cry from laughing so hard, or if we'll still remember how to play euhre.

_Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?  
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?  
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye  
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly  
And this is how it feels _

Maybe Heather Sinclare will stop being so weird, maybe everything will be as it is now. But I know it wont be, and it's making me sad.

_As we go on, we remember  
All the times we had together  
And as our lives change,  
Come whatever  
We will still be, friends forever _

So I'll look at my pictures, and flip through the yearbooks, and watch the mini movies I've made of us, and everything will be okay.

_La, la, la la; yeah, yeah, yeah  
La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever _

We've been through so much together that it will be impossible to tear our friendship apart.

_Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?  
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?  
I guess I thought that this would never end  
And suddenly it's like we're women and men  
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?  
Will these memories fade when I leave this town  
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye  
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly _

I get my diploma. Caps are thrown in the air. Ash came back and gives me a hug, and who should return, but Craig Manning. And he's with Manny.

_As we go on, we remember  
All the times we had together  
And as our lives change,  
Come whatever  
We will still be, friends forever _

And while I didn't "get" the guy, I got him as my best friend.

_As we go on, we remember  
All the times we had together  
And as our lives change,  
Come whatever  
We will still be, friends forever _

This school has made me, me. And I just can't believe that it's really over.

_As we go on, we remember  
All the times we had together  
And as our lives change,  
Come whatever  
We will still be, friends forever_


	6. Graduate

_**GRADUATE-Alex**_

_Can I graduate  
Can I graduate  
Can I look into the faces that I meet  
Can I get my punk-ass off the street_

I'm actually graduating. Me. Alex Nunez. It's surprising. I surprised myself. I probably surprised everyone else.

_I've been living on for so long  
Can I graduate  
To the bastard talking down to me  
Your whipping boy calamity_

So now that I'm getting out of high school, I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. Paige had wanted to get an apartment with me by Banting. But I needed my own life. So I dumped her. Maybe I'll join the peace core, maybe I'll join the army like I told her, but I'm really not sure.

_Cross your fingers  
I'm going to knock it all down  
Can I graduate_

When I first came to Degrassi in grade 10, I was the bitch, Jay's girlfriend. Jay was my first everything. I don't know for sure, but there's a good chance that we'd still be going out if he hadn't cheated on me with that pathetic excuse for a best friend, Amy, and little miss cause girl, Greenpeace, Emma Nelson. Sean's ex.

_Echo fading  
We can't let go  
She goes walking by in slow mo'_

So Jay cheated on me and I became even more cold heated trying to forget everything about him. I move on, or try to, and I somehow develop a crush on Paige. Paige Michalchuk of all people. I went to the premire of _Jay and Silent Bob Go Canadian, Eh?_ With her, and spent the night at her house, where I kissed her. The next day, Paige and I are going out.

_Sell your  
Heart out for a buck  
Go on  
Fade out  
Before I get stuck_

Well, Paige got into Banting. And she wanted me to go with her. We ould get a little apartment, she'd be at university classes during the day, and I'd still be working at a movie theatre. Not my style.

"_Maybe I'll join the peace core, maybe I'll go to a community college, I don't know. But I need to figure it out on my time."_

"_What's that supposed to mean."_

"_You'll be able to figure it out, you always were the smart one, Paige,"_ I say walking away from her.

_Talking to somebody like you  
Do you live the days you go through  
Will this song live on long after we do_

And while I was the one who broke up with her, it hurt like a bitch. Of course, no amount of pain will ever amount to the amount of pain I felt with Jay. He fucking broke my heart. And I'll always love him, but not like I used to.

_Can I graduate  
Can I look into the faces that I meet  
Can I get my punk-ass off the street, won't die on the vine  
I want to knock it all down_

When I got home that night, Jay was sitting on the couch, and he was defiantly the last person I wanted to see right now. He'd been trying to get me back all year, and I sue as hell didn't need him trying it tonight. But it turns out he was just there to watch a game with Chad, until he fucking passed out like he does every fucking night. And Jay, being the smart ass he is, tried yet again to get me back.

_Can I graduate  
Echo fading  
Candle blow  
Did you flash out long ago_

"_I'm not bi Jay, and I'm not confused. I'm a lesbian. Who just broke up with her first girlfriend and it sucks."_

"_I'm sorry. That's the first time I've said it and actually meant it."_

"_That's the first time you said it and I actually believed you."_

And for the first time, Jay was there. Actually there. For me to have a shoulder to cry on, to have a friend to talk to about everything. And for the first time in a over a year, I opened my heart to Jay Hogart. The same Jay that stole my heart when I was five, the same one who broke it, was now somehow, being the one to repair it.

_Cross my fingers  
I don't know someone poked you down below  
Can I graduate_

And I'm here today, on the steps of DCS, about to throw my cap in the air. But to me, it's not just a cap that I'm throwing. To me, that cap represents everything I want to get rid of. Every mistake, every fuck up, every horrible memory. That's what I throwing.

_Can I get my punk-ass off the street  
Can I look into the faces that I meet  
I'm not waiting here for you to die  
Will this song live on long after we do_

As I toss my cap in the air, and hug everyone, I look out into the crowd. And see an orange civic pulling away. I smile to myself and think _Goodbye, Jay. Goodbye Degrassi._

_

* * *

_**A/N: I forgot to give credit for the songs on the other chapters.  
_MY WISH_-Rascal Flatts  
_PHOTOGRAPH_-Nickleback  
_GOOD RIDDANCE_-Green Day  
_FRIENDS FOREVER_-Viatmin C  
_GOODBYE_-Spice Girls**

**This song (GRADUATE) belongs to Third Eye Blind. **

**Next chapter: Jimmy.**

**R&R. **


	7. I'll Remember

_**I'LL REMEMBER-Spinner**_

_Mmm, mmm...  
Say goodbye to not knowing when  
The truth in my whole life began  
Say good-bye to not knowing how to cry  
You taught me that_

I watched her cross the stage. Somehow everything always came back to her. Paige Michalchuk. Of course everyone else was up there too. Everyone but Jimmy that is. And you would think that I'd be sad that I wasn't up there, which don't get me wrong, I was, but I was more sad because I was losing her.

_And I'll remember the strength that you gave me  
Now that I'm standing on my own  
I'll remember the way that you saved me  
I'll remember_

Paige was-is, my everything. And now she's going away. I'm not up there, crossing that stage with her like I was supposed to be. Like we had talked about so many times.

_Inside, I was a child  
That could not mend a broken wing  
Outside, I looked for a way  
To teach my heart to sing_

Before Paige, I was so immature. Not as bad as JT, but still pretty bad. Then Paige and me got together. And I grew up. She somehow always brought out the best in me. But we broke up. It was my fault too. I started treating her like shit. And I made the mistake of flirting with Manny, then fighting over Manny with Craig, right in front of her. I started dating Manny, but that didn't last long. I knew it wouldn't but we were both just heartbroken, we were looking for comfort in each other. I didn't have Paige, and at that time she didn't have Craig. But Manny and I break up. I started hanging out with Jay more. Going to more parties at the ravine. It was really all I had being as I was expelled from school, had no girl friend, and lost all my friends. I was allowed to come back to Degrassi in the fall. All I wanted was to make everything right. But no one would take the time of day to listen, let alone talk to me. But Darcy did. And she didn't judge me based on my past. She forgave me. Darcy and I started dating. I liked her. She was cute, sweet, and fun. But our relationship wasn't anything close to what I had with Paige. But Darcy ended up dumping me two, twice in three days. Because she found out that I wasn't a virgin. And as fate should have it, Paige and Alex broke up too.

_And I'll remember the love that you gave me  
Now that I'm standing on my own  
I'll remember the way that you changed me  
I'll remember_

Paige and I kissed the day we both just got out of relationships. And it didn't just feel like a kiss, it felt like everything. With Darcy, it was just kiss, to me it didn't really mean a whole lot. But the day after me & Paige kiss, Darcy decides to take me back. And I'm a dumb ass so I did. I went to Paige's that night to let her know Darcy and I were back. Even though it was one conversation that I didn't want. I'll never forget that night.

"_Oh my god Spin, you have to come look at this old yearbook right this second."_  
"_Sure but uhm, I was hoping we could talk."_  
"_Sure hon. just indulge me first, and feast your eyes on this."_  
I remember feeling really excited when I saw our picture.

_I learned to let go of the illusion that we can possess  
I learned to let go, I travel in stillness  
And I'll remember... happiness  
I'll remember (I'll remember)_

A smile spread across my face.

"_Check it out, we were couple of the year."_  
"_Uhm, how could we not be? We were unbelievably super adorable."_  
"_There we are, the old gang."_  
"_We ran that school, remember?"_  
"_You ever wish you had a time machine? I just wanna go you know, before it all, all went to crap."_ I said moving my focus from the yearbook to the girl that was sitting beside me.

_Mm... (I'll remember)  
Mm...  
And I'll remember the love that you gave me  
Now that I'm standing on my own  
I'll remember the way that you changed me  
I'll remember  
(I'll remember)_

She looked up and her eyes met mine.

"_Spin, just so you know. I never blamed you for what happened, with Jimmy."_  
"_You mean that?"_ I asked her, ever though I already knew the answer. She nodded and looked at me. She started leaning in, and as much as I wanted to kiss her, I had just gotten back with Darcy.  
"_Paige…" _She cut me off by cupping my face and pulling me back on the bed.

_No, I've never been afraid to cry  
Now I finally have a reason why  
I'll remember (I'll remember)  
_  
After last night, I was sure that Paige and I were back. But before I dumped Darcy, I had to make sure.

"_Paige! There you are, I've been looking all over for you."_  
"_Me too. I just wanted to say 'merci'."_  
"_For what?"_  
"_For last night, dorkus. It felt like the right way to end school. Just don't forget about me,okay?"_  
"_I wasn't planning on it, I was…"_  
"_Woah hon, you can't be serious. We're both moving on, but I will always have the bestest memories of my first real boyfriend, you."_ She gave me a kiss and walked away. I felt like I was gonna cry.

_No, I've never been afraid to cry  
And I finally have a reason why  
I'll remember (I'll remember)_

Well, it turns out I didn't even have Darcy anymore. She found out about me and Paige having sex, and she dumped me. Leaving me girlfriend-less. So now I had no girlfriend, Marco was my only friend, and Jimmy wouldn't even talk to me.

I stood at the gym doors watching the ceremony and Jimmy wheels himself over to me.

"_There they go, our class, on to a brighter future."_  
"_You should've been up there man."_  
"_It'll be our turn next year, right?"_  
"_I'm sorry, are we actually having a conversation?"_  
"_I spent a lot of time this year, blaming people, you espicaly, and it wasn't fair."_  
I had just gotten my best friend back. For whatever reason, I guess it was because Jimmy forgave me, I ran out after Darcy.

_No, I've never been afraid to cry  
And I finally have a reason why  
I'll remember (I'll remember)_

But she rejected me, looked back at me once, got on the bus that goes to bible camp, and never looked back.

_No, I've never been afraid to cry  
And I finally have a reason why  
I'll remember (I'll remember)_

I got back to school just as everyone was about to throw their caps and I started crying. It's as if, watching the kids that were my best friends graduating, struck something in me. Like this is really goodbye. I talked with Marco and Jimmy, and I waved to Paige, who gave me a smile and a wave back. And while she might not see it right now, somewhere down the line, I know we'll be together.

* * *

**A/N: I know I said that this chapter would be Jimmy, but I decided to do Spinner because I don't know how I'm gonna set up Jimmy's yet. R&R.**

**_I'LL REMEMBER_ belongs to Madonna.**


	8. I Hope You Dance

_**I HOPE YOU DANCE-Ashley**_

_I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,  
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,  
May you never take one single breath for granted,  
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,  
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,  
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,  
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,  
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance._

Jimmy and I sat in the audience watching all our friends cross the stage and move their tassels from left to right. He should've been up there…I should've been up there…Craig and Spinner should've been up there...hell, even Jay should've.

_I hope you dance... I hope you dance..._

But we weren't Jimmy didn't have the credits because of all the physical therapy from getting shot by Rick back in grade 11, Spinner wasn't because he told Ms. H about his part in the paint and feathers prank and got expelled, only to be re-admitted this year, but a year behind everyone, Craig wasn't because he was off in Vancouver recording his solo CD, he might've been there earlier if he hadn't dropped the demo for me...and our disastrous second try at a relationship, Jay wasn't because he was also expelled for the paint and feathers prank on Rick, but he never did summer school, or try to get back in this year.

_I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,  
Never settle for the path of least resistance,_

And me…I took a year off, went to London when things around here became too much for me to handle. I took the easy way out, all because I thought I had it hard.

_Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin',  
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin',  
Don't let some Hell bent heart leave you bitter,_

I thought getting away from Degrassi would erase all the pain this place had brought me… finding out my dad was gay, taking E, cheating on Jimmy with Sean, having Craig cheat on me with Manny Santos, finding out Manny got pregnant by Craig, getting back together with Craig only to find out he's bi-polar, I promised to stick by him…but watching over him, being afraid of what might happen if I do one little thing, it was too much, so I left. I thought about my reason for leaving while I spent my year in England. I was a coward.

_If you come close to sellin' out reconsider,  
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,  
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance._

Ellie survived having an alcoholic mom, her dad being on a tour of duty, getting therapy for cutting, and having her boyfriend leave her with the apartment which she couldn't afford. Alex suffered having her mom's boyfriends beat her, and then not knowing when she was going to have a roof over her head at night, Jay who might've been the only person she trusted at the time serial cheated on her, and on top of that gave her gonorrhea, and finding out she was a lesbian. Marco hid himself from everyone for a year until he finally came out, got beat up, and basically had his dad disown him from what Ellie told me. And Paige, she got raped, lost her trial, broke up with Spinner…the one guy she could really trust…because he and Craig got in a fight about Manny, in front of her…while she broke up with Spinner, she broke her own heart and cried about it to me every night for a few months…she dated a teacher who left her at the beginning of the summer and when he came back, gave her weed, and experimented with Alex.

_I hope you dance... I hope you dance.  
I hope you dance... I hope you dance._

Jimmy was shot…he's now paralyzed for life, Hazel dumped him because she thought something was going on with him and Ellie, when he realized that he did like Ellie and asked her out, she turned him down because she liked someone else…and while the relationship issue isn't that bad, the fact is he was **shot**, and while he wasn't standing in front of me in a cap and gown, it's only because of the shooting or else he too would be up there. And Craig, even though he really hurt me, he had it a million times worse. His mom died, his dad beat him, he moved out and lives with his step-dad, Joey, when he tried to talk to his dad again, he was hit and then his dad got in a car accident and died, he was dumped by both me and Manny only seconds apart, Manny got an abortion and he lost his child, he had me be horrible to him all of grade 10, blew off recording a demo CD to be with me, found out he was bi-polar, I left him and caused him to stop taking his meds and have an episode which consisted of him running away, getting beat up, and getting his guitar stolen. He too would've been graduating if he wasn't becoming a rock star.

_(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,  
Tell me who wants to look back on their years  
and wonder where those years have gone.)_

Craig came back. We waved and smiled at each other, it brought back memories, but then I saw how happy he was with Manny…and as weird as it sounds, I wasn't jealous. I was happy for him. For the first time in a while Craig was happy. He didn't look sad, or confused, or helpless. He had this joy in his eyes and a big smile with Manny that I never saw before. I was happy for him.

_I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,  
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,  
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,  
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance._

Jimmy and I decided to give our relationship another try, after all, third times a charm.

_Dance... I hope you dance.  
I hope you dance... I hope you dance.  
I hope you dance... I hope you dance.._

So we stood at the steps of the school, watching our friends toss their caps in the air…and I cried…this was goodbye…

_(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,  
Tell me who wants to look back on their years  
and wonder where those years have gone.)_

_

* * *

_  
**Yeah, I know this is kinda bad, and I'll most likely come back and re-write it. But I'm not really an Ashley fan, so it's hard for me to write in Ashley's thoughts. R&R  
**

**_I HOPE YOU DANCE_ belongs to Lee Ann Womack**


	9. Crash And Burn

**_CRASH AND BURN-Craig_**

_When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned its back on you  
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart_

As I pulled up to the front of the school for the first time in four months, I felt a sense of calming come over me.

_I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you  
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold  
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore_

Recording in Vancouver was amazing…just like I always thought it would be, but it was stressful and I felt like something was missing.

_Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night_

Something was missing from my heart, like the void it had after mom died, or the wound that formed after dad's death. It was something much more than that.

_If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone_

My mom died, leaving me with an abusive dad, I moved out and went to live with my step dad, had my dad die at the end of the year after he hit me once again.

In grade 10 I two timed both Ashley and Manny, then had both of them dump me only 20 seconds apart, wrote an apology song to Ash-resulting in her still hating my guts, and Manny getting together with JT Yorke, won recording time in a studio.

The next year I got a whole bunch of money from my dead dad, spent $4,000 on a new guitar, resolved issues with Ashley, was partially responsible for the break-up between Spinner and Paige because of fighting over Spinner for Manny, in front of Paige, at her work-eventually, Spinner got Manny-threw out the chance to record for another try with Ashley, found out I was bi-polar after trashing Ash's dad's wedding, having her decline my proposal and beating the shit out of Joey, started going to group therapy, by Ashley's request, got picked up to record for Kevin Smith's new movie, _Jay and Silent Bob go Canadian, eh?_-which I was going to do with Ash before she let me for England for the summer…

"**_Look why are you here doing this? Are you off your meds?"  
"No I'm not off my meds. I'm here cause I love you and I have plans."  
"Yeah so do I Craig and you said you were okay with them. You said it repeatedly, so what is this!"  
"This is me trying to figure out how we're gonna spend the summer together. You think I'm having an episode!"  
"I don't know what to think. Look I need space. I need to get away."  
"Oh! Okay."  
"From you. Look Craig, I love you, but ever since my dad's wedding it's just been me worrying, me watching for signs, watching what I say."  
"Why won't you just believe me? I'm better now. I'm okay. I am."  
"E-mail me okay? I'll see you in September. _**

_When you feel all alone  
And a loyal friend is hard to find_

Well, she didn't come in September, or October…she didn't come back. She met some guy in London with a cool accent who according to what Ellie said about Ash's e-mail was "really, really together". And this I found out on my birthday…some friends. So I went back to my house, threw a manic depressive fit; then had to explain to Joey that yes I _did_ take my meds, and ignored Ellie for the next two days, and probably would've continued doing so until she came by my house and basically put me in my place, she then became the drummer of the new Downtown Sasquatch. And in-between all that, a video was released of a drunken Manny flashing the camera, I watched on as once again her rep was trashed, but all I could do was feel bad mixed with yet another feeling that I couldn't figure out.

_You're caught in a one way street  
With the monsters in your head_

A few months, and a shit load of rehearsals later, we got our first gig. Boost to the face, right? As I was heading to the Caf that day to tell Ellie the good news, I saw Peter harassing Manny, the guy had trashed her rep already more so than it already was, the beginning of it caused by me…So I protected her, and had the first **real **conversation with her since my really bad apology, which came out wrong. I invited her to the gig, issues happened-namely Ellie throwing a drumstick at Manny's head-and it ended early, as well with Ellie being mad at me…something about me being a perv and Manny… Manny and I got back together the next day, it wasn't planned, I just wanted to talk to her, at least I think that's what my intentions were…either way, I'm glad we did.

_When hopes and dreams are far away and  
You feel like you can't face the day_

Four months later, me and the band were preparing for the Northern Sound Showcase…the biggest band competition in Toronto. And a manager picks us up! I was getting another chance at being a rock star! Leo said that Ellie's drumming needed work. So me, being the asshole, and insensitive jerk I am, spent more time with my drummer, then with my girlfriend…who I knew supported me and was tired of always seeing Ellie and me in compromising positions. And what's worse…it still didn't payoff. Leo said to get a new drummer…I said no, almost blowing my chance…

Ellie talked me into going solo. She said I'd be able to win it.

"_**What about Manny? Or Angie, or Joey?"**_

"_**Don't worry about them, they'll be fine, they'll manage."**_

Before even going to the second round of the showcase, I talked to Manny about it. I wanted her to know what was going on, and how she felt about it. And she was happy for me. She encouraged me. She was there at the first round of the showcase, at the photo shoots, at all the rehearsals, at the second round of the showcase, and she was there with me at the airport while I left to go fulfill my dreams.

_Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night_

I kept in contact with everyone. They let me know what I was missing, how everyone was doing and what was going on in Degrassi.

_If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone_

And Ellie was right, but that's what best friends are for, Manny and I did manage. We talked on the phone often, texted, e-mailed and IMed each other as often as we could. And I felt happy when talking to her. But it always felt like something was missing.

_'Cause there has always been heartache and pain  
And when it's over you'll breathe again  
You'll breathe again_

Coming home was a surprise, and there was one person I was looking for more than anyone.

"You miss me?" I said as she turned around and saw me. "Hey."  
"You know it! I can't believe you came!" She said as we hugged for the first time in four months.  
"Like I could miss this for the world." I said smiling at her.

I looked around the crowd and saw my friends hugging each other. Ash was there, but there were no feelings left. Nothing surfaced. I smiled at her and Ellie, and waved. Ash waved back and I knew that even without talking, we both had no hard feelings for the other.

_When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned its back on you_

I turned my attention back to Manny, and looked into her eyes. I realized what I was missing. I missed the feeling of home, the security I got from her. Manny was what was missing while I was in Vancouver. She was the one that never left my mind since entering Degrassi.

_Give me a moment please_

I stood at the steps with my arms around Manny, Emma and Peter next to us and watched my class throw their caps in the air. And while I did wish that I was up there with them, at the same time, it felt good to be watching them. Recording in a studio was where I belonged, and these kids helped get me there.

_To tame your wild wild heart _

When the last cap hit the ground, I had only one thought left for them. Maybe I'll turn it into a song…

Whatever you do, wherever you go, whether near or so far, I know you'll be great. You already are.

* * *

**_CRASH AND BURN_ belongs to Savage Garden**

**I had actually thought about doing _THEN I DID_** **by Rascal Flatts, but it didn't really fit too well, but I might re-write this to that song. Meh..I dunno..I kinda like it, but I'm not to sure...**

** No pun intended by the title and the refrence to the Craig/Ashley relationship. It just worked for Craig.  
**

**R&R…be honest**


End file.
